Merry Christmas Zack
by Kalerin
Summary: Cloud reflects on how Zack helped him last Christmas.


"Zack, I'm begging you, leave the chocobo alone."

"You can't be serious Spiky! You saw it; it threw me off!"

"Angeal, control your puppy before I muzzle him."

"I would but Genesis stole the chocolates that I use to calm him."

"You didn't tell me that they were the only thing that could sedate Fair! Shit, did I save any?"

Sighing, I shook my head. There were times that I wondered at my sanity. After all, it was my brilliant idea that had us tramping around out here in this Gaia forsaken frozen waste land. Hell, it could be Shiva's kingdom it was so cold. And of course Zack was causing trouble, chasing a chocobo back and forth waving his sword while the three Generals stood around arguing. Yeah, my sanity was apparently gone.

"Zack, we won't be able to find a tree if you don't leave the chocobo alone," I called after the aggravating raven. That made him stop fast enough as he transformed back into a hyper five year old.

"Tree!" Zack squealed, racing for the forest. That caught the attention of the Generals and they followed him, leaving me to tether Zack's chocobo with the rest of them. The bird gave me a grateful look before bowing his head to the feed I'd placed for them. I gave him a pat and praised his patience for not throwing Zack off before we got to our destination before heading out. The others had already disappeared into the forest but I wasn't worried. I'd find them eventually. And if I didn't, well, it wouldn't matter. The chocobo's would leave without me. Maybe having chocobo-like hair wasn't such a curse.

The forest was nearly silent as I stepped into it. I loved this sort of silence. It was the kind that you could just lose yourself in for hours and feel so refreshed afterwards. Midgar didn't have many places like this. I would say it didn't have _any_ but then I found Aerith's church. That place held such a peace and quiet, just like this forest. But besides the church there was nothing. Trust me, I looked everywhere.

Sighing, I stopped and looked around. No sign of Zack or the Generals. If I really wanted to I could find them. It was pretty hard to erase tracks in this depth of snow. But I guess my motivation wasn't in it because I just kept walking. Either I'd find them or I wouldn't. They could certainly care for themselves out here.

A sudden movement of white made me look up. Small snowflakes fell from the sky, quietly and unobtrusively. Actually, it reminded me of Christmas last year. I hadn't had much going for me back then. At least, not until Zack came back for me.

* * *

><p>"Cloud? You alright?" Sighing, I plastered a fake smile on before turning to face Reno. His scowl told me that he wasn't fooled but I kept smiling anyway. Someone else might walk in after all.<p>

"Yes Reno, I'm fine," I told him yet again before turning back to cleaning out my desk. Every item tried to bring up a memory but I ignored them. Maybe when I was back in my apartment I'd allow the memories to overtake me. After all, there no one would see me cry.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this, yo," Reno sighed, slumping at his desk. Really, sometimes I wondered if the redhead was taking it harder then I was. Yeah, it sucked that I had to leave the Turks but it wasn't Reno's fault. No one could have stopped me from being shot and falling off that tower. Hell, I'd been with the four best SOLDIER's ever and they hadn't been able to save me. What could one Turk have done.

"I know that," I told him, closing the last box. "But this is the way it is. Admit it Reno, I'm useless now. I can't run, I can't jump, I can't climb, I can't do any of the physical things Turks need to do. Tseng offered me a desk job but I'd go crazy within a week. This really is for the best."

"You're only twenty Cloud," Reno shot back, his eyes haunted. "You shouldn't be crippled like this. If I'd just been a little bit faster-"

"You would have died with me," I said bluntly. "Reno, we've been over this. It's only because of the fucked up experiment I went through as a child that I didn't die myself. If you'd been a little faster you would have fallen off the edge with me and I'd be attending your funeral." Those green eyes were still so haunted they made me hurt. My leaving wasn't the only thing that wasn't supposed to happen. Reno wasn't supposed to have to grow up.

"Look on the bright side," I urged him, leaning on his desk. "I can still walk. The doctors were convinced I couldn't but I proved them wrong. And Tseng isn't taking me totally out of the Turks. He's just taking me off active duty. Maybe someday I'll be able to come back." This time it was Reno's turn to fake a smile and I didn't believe his any more then he believed mine.

"I guess," he said quietly, shadowed eyes taking in the now bare part of the office that had been mine. "Hopefully when that day comes the office will still be half empty." Well, at least he was saying 'when' now instead of 'if'.

"I'm sure it will be," I told him but in reality I had no clue. It was still bloody hard to walk and I normally couldn't walk very much. Really, I was pressing my luck today. But then again that idiot doctor had told me to take it easy. I'd do anything to piss him off. "Well, I better be going. You have rounds today, don't you?"

"Maybe," Reno sighed, finally getting up. "Tseng threatened to take me off rounds. And any other type of duty actually. Something about being an ass to anyone other then you." That made me laugh. Yeah, Reno was an ass to most people.

"Good luck," I told him with a finally real smile before turning back to my old desk and picking up my box. Reno walked as far as the elevators with me but then he went to Tseng and I went into the elevator. Tiredly, I pushed my floor's button before leaning against the wall. Gaia, I hurt. Maybe I should talk to Aerith about that lotion she let me use. It had a tendency of reducing the pain.

A sudden jerk made me stumble before the doors slid open. I knew instantly that this wasn't my floor and wondered why I'd stopped but then Zachery Fair stepped in. His eyes lit up instantly upon recognizing me before shadowing with guilt.

"Hey Cloud," he greeted, trying to sound cheerful as he pushed his floor's button. "How ya been?" He instantly winced at his choice of words but I just shook my head. Never let it be said that Zachery actually thought before he spoke.

"I've been well," I told him as the elevator resumed its trip. "Physical therapy hasn't been as bad recently. Tseng's finally quit apologizing to me and I just cleaned out my office." Zachery's eyes seemed even dimmer at that. He knew what it meant to clean out an office. "How have the four of you been?"

"We're fine," the raven said tensely. "After all, we weren't the ones to get shot and fall off of that tower." I glanced at him sidelong. There seemed to be a lot more pain there then I'd thought there would be. Surely he wasn't blaming himself for my wounds. Then again, he was a SOLDIER. They had this thing about blaming themselves for everything that went wrong. Thank Gaia I had flunked the SOLDIER exams and Tseng had picked me up. I was so much happier being a Turk.

"There wasn't anything you could do to stop it," I told him honestly. "It was my job to protect the four of you since you were vulnerable that day. I was just doing my job."

"You LOST your job because of it," Zachery said bitterly. Hmm, he was really good at hogging all the guilt.

"I haven't lost it," I insisted. "Tseng just took me off active duty. The position is open if I ever go back." Zachery didn't seem convinced by that but I didn't really care. I was just so tired all of a sudden. Maybe I wouldn't even make it back to my apartment. Falling asleep where I stood just sounded so good.

The elevator dinged and opened, finally on my floor. I turned to say goodbye to Zachery but instead grunted as he took my box. "You're exhausted," he said before exiting the elevator, making me follow him. "Which apartment is yours?" For a second I moved to argue with him but gave up with a sigh. This was Zachery I was talking about. I couldn't argue with him back when I was fully functional. Now… "Third door on the left," I told him, following sleepily as he walked there. I wasn't even thinking when I opened the door and let him in. All I wanted was some sleep. But, of course, he had to notice my tree and ask about it.

"It's a Christmas tree," I told him, gazing longingly at my bed. "In Nibelheim we always celebrated Christmas on December 25th." I could see that Zachery wanted to ask what Christmas was but movement outside distracted me and I moved to the window to stare.

Snow. Snow was falling. What the hell? We were in Midgar; it never snowed here! It was the one thing I truly missed about Nibelheim. Well, that and my mother.

"It's beautiful," Zachery breathed, coming to stand beside me. For a moment neither of us spoke before he sighed quietly. "Goodnight Cloud," he whispered before stunning me by kissing my temple lightly and walking out. For long moments I was frozen at the window before slowly moving to touch the place his lips had been. Well, that was unexpected. Not bad though. At least, not as bad as I'd thought it would have been. Maybe…just maybe…things weren't so bad after all.

* * *

><p>"Spiky!" I yelped as Zack suddenly tackled me. For the hundredth time I wondered why he insisted on calling me that ridiculous name. The only response I gave was to call him Zack instead of Zachery but surely…never mind. I just answered my own question. "Spiky, come check it out!" Zack squealed, jumping up and down. "We found the perfect tree! It's big and straight and just come on." Thus commenced a full five minutes of being dragged through the forest by a puppy masquerading as a SOLDIER. But when I saw the tree I understood.<p>

The tree _was_ perfect. It was big enough for Zack's apartment without being so big to dominate the room. The boughs were bright and full so that the trunk could not be seen. And yes, it was straight, unlike some of the other trees. Definitely a tree worth getting excited over.

"It's good," I said since Zack was nearly squirming for my approval. "I think it will look great once we get it into your apartment and decorated."

"I know!" Zack yelled with a fist pump before suddenly seeming serious but no less jovial. "Look closer Cloud. It's already got it's first present under it." Blinking, I looked again. Yes, there was a box under the tree and it had my name on it. Confused, I went over and picked it up, glancing at Zack warily. It wouldn't be the first time he'd tried to prank me. But while he was eager it was a serious sort of eager. So not a prank then. Thoroughly stumped I finally opened the box to find some papers inside. I scanned them quickly before freezing at one word.

"Reinstated?" I breathed. I looked up sharply at the Generals but they all just watched with a pleased seriousness. So was Zack.

"Yes Spiky," he said quietly, coming to stand beside me. "Tseng saw the latest reports from the physical therapists and has decided you're well enough to be reinstated as a full time Turk. It will be easy missions for a while but he has no doubt that within a few years it will be like the accident never happened." My eyes started filling with tears which Zack dutifully wiped away. "I also checked with Reno. You're side of the office is still empty and he can't wait to help you move everything back." The tears started falling in earnest as everything sank in. This was real. I was really a Turk again.

"Merry Christmas Cloud," Zack said softly, eyes smiling through his own tears. Despite the saltiness of the tears on my face I stretched and kissed him lightly on the mouth.

"Merry Christmas Zack."

_Babble time: Alright, here's the K version of my story. The M version is only slightly different so…yeah. Merry Christmas everyone!_


End file.
